pinkmonkeybird

...busting up my brains for the words

Sunday, March 13, 2005

All the news you want

My parents gather their news from the alphabet networks and cable tv and the StarTribune newspaper. I gather my news from the Internet and radio and the occasional newspaper.

Recently, my mother asked, "How much longer do we have to hear about Michael Jackson?"

Indeed. That's why I bailed on those msm sources. The demographics dictate that the American public is hungry for more Michael Jackson stories. It's completely worthwhile, according to their analysis, to wait through two minutes of advertisements for geriatric products and then settle into all the goodies about Michael Jackson.

That's why I bailed on cable television. I realized that I was paying for the cable service twice; First with my checkbook to the cable company. Then a second time with my time wasted while they pound me with commercials for autos, bedroom furniture and Claritin...none of which I have a need or desire for. And then, after painfully weathering these nasty intrusions in my living room, I would be "rewarded" with a story about Michael Jackson.

Gathering my news from the Internet, radio and the occasional newspaper, I am able to avoid Michael Jackson all I care to. Oh sure, once in awhile I see something about him dressing up like a blogger. But I am inconvenienced with news stories about this weirdo so little, that when I am exposed to them, I don't feel terribly put upon.
On the other hand, if I yearned for Michael Jackson stories, I'd be able to get my fill on the Internet to my heart's content.

I choose.

So, to answer my mom, you don't have to hear about Michael Jackson at all. Just start gathering your news from the Internet and radio. I'll let you keep your newspaper. After all, if Michael Jackson appears on the page, there is nothing keeping you from turning the page.

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