...busting up my brains for the words

Thursday, December 22, 2005

NARN: the lion, the witch and the pantyhose

I love fantasy and horror and movies and all three can be found in two movies showing at the Mann St. Louis Park Cinema tonight. Those would be the movie about bloggers from NARN and another movie about a big monkey.
Does my construct cast the Deacon as the pantyhose? Well, only if Rocketman is the lion and Big Trunk is the witch in alphabetical order, of course.

I'd better stop my parallelism right here right now.

I saw Narnia: The lion, the witch and the wardrobe just now. I'm not familiar with C. S. Lewis' work, but as a pure cinematic experience, for me it sucked. Big time. It seemed very contrived and synthetic.

Yet, a note or two. The little girl actress who played Lucy has a smile so similar to Gwyneth Paltrow, Hollywood should immediately commission a script for Paltrow in which she is seen as a 5 year old. This kid would be perfect.

The Fawn character was really giving me the creeps. Every second that Fawn was on the screen was a painful moment.

I hate Disney, I hate Disney, I hate Disney, I hate Disney...

Tilda Swinton did a great job, but her director managed to waste her efforts with blandness.

The ending doesn't matter. I was lucky. A bus came precisely when I reached the stop.

If this is supposed to be a Christian message movie, then it's the hokiest piece of animation to come down the pike since Davey and Goliath.

I knew I was going to see either this movie or King Kong, whichever one was showing first upon my arrival. Narnia won that game by fifteen minutes. It really didn't matter to me. I have decided to see King Kong very soon. Yes, yes, I know I'm going to squirm in there at probably a few points through this three hour long remake. And I'd love to be proven wrong. I know Peter Jackson is a by gosh genius, but I'd love to be surprised to find the three hours just slipping away.
Somehow I doubt it.


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