Indeed, I am the most eligible bachelor
But seriously, I am eligible. I haven't been on a date for years. I don't know why. Maybe it's because chicks hate me for favoring the smoking ban. Or maybe it's because I call women chicks. I don't know. I am very particular about the women I am willing to be seen with in public. They have to be hot and attractive and young enough to be my daughter. Jes' kidding again. That was then, this is now.
Now, I am much more accepting of the fair sex. All I want is a woman who has a car and can drive me places. Jes' kidding again.
Now you know why I'm still single. I don't have a serious mind about anything and people who talk too much irritate the heck out of me. If you're a reasonably attractive woman, like to laugh, can conduct an intelligent conversation and don't mind riding the bus...wink at me sometime. That's all the encouragement I need.